October 16, 2011

we prove the unthinkable even to ourselves


yesterday (October 15) was my son Asher's 7th birthday. i am so proud to be the mother of such a joyful and radiant being of light. he is my little custom-designed medicine man - no one can make me laugh harder or so swiftly teach me the ways of patience and truth. 

i remember when he had just barely arrived in this world, with eyes that rarely opened, and i clutched him to my chest at all times knowing that his warmth, his breath, depended on mine. i remember walking around in a post-childbirth daze, listening to more seasoned mothers laugh and tell me that it goes so fast; in those moments, i couldn't believe it. it seemed impossible that the slow-ness of those first three months would ever speed up to a normal pace. i felt that i would be forever living in a world of breastmilk and....well, breastmilk. 

everyone who has been a mother knows that motherhood is the ultimate tragic beauty. it is the most powerful, profound, exhausting, glorious, aching, heart-wrenching, devastating, exhilarating contract i have ever signed, and i am only 7 years in. 

...

with all of it in the world, i am truly blessed. this tiny, tiny person, has taught me how to be myself. each morning i awake to his bright blue eyes, saturated with joy that his mother is up and once again at his service. and each day we begin again; the starlit dance that moves us both forward, together.

7 comments:

  1. happy birthday to asher and to you for doing all the work to get him here. he's a beautiful boy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. truer words were never spoken. good mama. :) and happy birthday to asher.

    ReplyDelete
  3. a very moving birthday message, thank you for sharing and happy birthday to your boy!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy Birthday to you both! What a beautiful little family you guys are.

    ReplyDelete
  5. so beautiful. happy birthday, Asher!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Happy birthday Asher! I can see your shining bright energy from here!

    And from one momma to another - good job girl!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Aw, happy birthday to your beautiful boy! That photo of Asher is so great.

    Motherhood, "the ultimate tragic beauty" I love that, and you summed it up here so perfectly :)

    ReplyDelete

I love your comments. Thank you thank you for leaving them for me to read and love.