June 25, 2012

letting go of rightness

Don’t take anything personally. Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. Their point of view and opinion come from all the programming they received growing up. When you take things personally, you feel offended and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflict.
 -Don Miguel Ruiz
 i have been thinking about this, lately - the need to be right. though i have not read The Four Agreements by Ruiz, i read through the outline of it. that is to say, i gleaned what the four agreements are, and left the rest of the book (as it did not inspire me). despite not being drawn to the book and his language, per se, i like the four agreements. i feel that what i am after, if i were to somehow sum it up in a nutshell, is ever-more certainty of my own self, and the continual ability to let go of the things that bind me to tension and negativity. much of this can be accomplished by radical honesty and yes, a profound ability to not take anything personally. 
with the rightness, i wonder how i can create a practice of letting this go. ever since i was a child, "being right" has always been met with such positive reinforcement (isn't this the point? to be right?). ahh, but even if i am right, it doesn't mean i need to tell people about it, to get then to understand my rightness, to go along with it. it is in that vein that i need to make the cut. 
similarly, i have been thinking about the difference between being humble, truly, and acting humble. how is it that we can learn to truly embody in our hearts the traits that we view as holy? is awareness the first step, or is it something else? how do we grow things from seed at this point in our lives? are the seeds there and do they just need to be exposed to the elements? if they are not there, can we still gather them?
i ask these questions mostly in reflective thought. i feel that it is important for me to wonder these things and to learn how to continually evolve. this is the time, this is the moment.
 
 you are the sky. everything else - it's just the weather. 
-Pema Chodron
 
image sources: 1, 2

2 comments:

  1. we're learning the same thing, you and i. i come from one of those families that just over-explains every single thing. it's like...like we MUST show off our knowledge or something. i'm practicing quiet wisdom. i don't need to show off that i'm right, or that another person is wrong. if they're wrong, God will sort that out and the path that person will take will be hard. i have a serious fear of seeming like a know-it-all, which pushed me to make a change.

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  2. What heaven it would be to just naturally not take things personally. The tough thing, though, is to let things roll off your soul without abandoning the part of yourself that deserves to be protected from unkind treatment.

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