September 21, 2012

and like that, she was gone

there are times when we get to see into something, further than we realize when we first look at it. sometimes it is difficult to see into those places - it takes prying or crying or begging, careful examination and speculation. then, sometimes, something is split open and set, glimmering and fresh, on the table before our very eyes, a pulsating heart glistens as we watch in wonder.

i first saw this viedo not too many nights ago on a couch in san francisco - a special sneak preview from ivan himself; i was wedged between several women and we watched and we cried. (this video is, of course, visually beautiful, as anyone can see. Sigur Rós is consistently heartwrenching and breath-taking). but this is so much more than that: this video (you see) is a dream come true - someone made this dream real and we get to SEE it. with our eyes.

it is an exceptional moment when an artist presents you with his or her art and tells you about it. these moments are rare, and thus exists the great and beloved mystery of art. in school i often wondered what emily dickinson would have thought of our tireless deconstruction of her poetry, demanding symbolism that grew from our own lives, not from hers. which brings me to this moment - in the living room, on the couch, in san francisco.

this project was an idea that first fluttered in ivan's heart, looking for ways to come out. ultimately, the contest gave it life - though it was not conceived for the contest. behind each moment and each movement there is meaning and symbolism. every artist does this and then feeds it to the rest of us and then we, in turn, devour this symbolism and digest it in our own systems, and the symbolism shifts to fit into our personal psyche. the symbolism begins to mean something important and profound to each of our selves while the original symbolism mutates to accommodate this. 

this video struck me as i watched it: here was one man's story that he dreamed, realized, created...and yet it seemed to sing to my very own heart, to my own processes in this moment, at this point in time.
sometimes, even the sweetest love cannot tame our spirits. 
the waters run deep.


  1. You write so honestly and beautifully, girl.

  2. I absolutely agree with Millia. I feel so calm, and hoping this can help me sleep tonight.


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